I cant live with out you
by Rina Alexis Mcnugget Est.1994
Summary: Why are you killing yourself over him?" inuyasha asked she look at him, her eyes clouded with confusion, as if to say isn't it obvious? "i cant live with out him" with those words he delivered the final blow. Sequel to 'My Reason For Living' -R.A.M


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"who are you?'' my eyes drifted up and down the halls checking the shadows for any movement. the light in the hall slowly faded to a dim flicker.  
"what do you want .." i could here the fear in my own words, my hands trembled in the rope the where bound by, my fingers struggling to set me free.  
in the corner of my eyes i see a movement, only to close my eyes in fear of what it might be.  
'be brave kagome come on be brave' i will my self to move onward.

i try to remember the days events, but things just didn't add up how did i get here ? one minute i was making dinner for inuyasha and shippo the next im blanking out only to wake up here ... the air was cold an omunous presence lingered here.  
i felt my powers rise to my aid only to be knocked down by some sort of barrier ... i don't remember that it was clear who ever captured me, made sure i had no weapon of any sort ... 'weak' i almost snorted out loud ... a clear sign i had been around inuyasha far too long.  
i checked the halls again before rising to my feet and creeping out the open door.  
i knew who ever captured me was watching me right now, i had two options i could run for it or i could continue doing what i was doing ... i chose the ladder i knew who ever this person was ... was most likely looking for a good chase and i was sure not going to be his prey ..  
i kept walking as light as i could till i found a source of light it seemed to be coming from the top of the stair case. i walked toward it, thinking that i might  
just be my only way out.

as i came closer to the light it was almost blinding ... it was a white light ... surrounding a man , the light presented him to be almost god like my breath caught in my throat as i saw who the man in the middle of the room was.  
"sesshomaru ? " i whispered to shocked to do much of anything else suddenly my knees felt weak and i found it simply unbearable to stand, i collapsed.  
i felt the tears welt to my eyes when i saw him standing there in all his glory ... he was just like i had remembered him ... breathtakingly beautiful ... " your alive ?" i yelled almost jumping from the excitement coming from my own voice.

"no" he said hi voice deep and husky like it had been when he was alive.  
"what do you mean your in front of me your here how could you not be?" i said my voice coming off desperate and hysterical,  
"miko ... what makes you think you too are not dead?"he said his eyes those of regret and pain.  
"what do you mean ... am i dead?" i said, i wasn't sure what to think except for the fact that i was in front of him and he was mine once again.  
"yes you are as dead as i am.. but why ... love, your supposed to be alive " his voice gave a way his concern before he returned him self to his usual stoic mask.  
"love ... i don't know and i don't care how i died all i know is that your here and so am i ... i rather die and be with you than live and be with out you." i reached my arms out toward him before stepping back afraid if i indeed touched him he would slip through my fingers once again

"i gave my life for you miko ... i couldn't bare the thought of you coming here to this place ... i couldn't bare the thought that you would never grace the earth ... with your legacy , your offspring, people need your kindness ... if you stay with me you will never have children you will be stuck in this place forever repeating the cycle of never ending life ... i am a demon so the gods have doomed me to this place but a miko ... a pure soul such as your self deserves to die on earth ... a full life content ... until you die and join the angels in the heaven ... kagome you deserve much more than what i could have ever given you."  
i was loss for words ... he said her name .... he spoke with emotion ... she couldn't help but choke back the sob that threatened to tear from her throat,

"don't say that .... never say that ... you are my life ... if i can spend a never ending circle than so be it but i would rather be in this land of dead than in heaven ... i would rather never bear a child ... if i knew it would not be a child from your seed ... how could i be kind knowing that the only reason for my smile is dead .... how could i live in heaven with out you ?" tears came from my eyes life waterfalls over a cliff but i didn't bother to wipe them off i wanted him to see the pain his word where causing me , i wanted him to know how much love i felt for him ..." you know for a lord ... you could be really dense at times ... i mean how could you expect me to live with out you?"

he smiled faintly before holding me close to him.  
he felt so real ... the warmth of his body hovered over mine.  
his sent washed over me like the calm after a storm ... i thought to myself for a brief moment .. if he was worth it ... losing my powers my friends my life ?  
and with out a moment hesetation i thought ... yes ... yes indeed he was worth it ... he was worth more than he could possibly ever know.  
i slowly held his face to mine in a sweet Caresse ... my lips slowly hovered over his before i tenderly kissed him. he tasted to real ... so fulfilling ... yes i would spend an eternity just kissing him ... just making love to him i would spend a never ending cycle with him by my side ... and i knew that my heart was content ... i loved him ... and i would spend our after life proving that to him.

he grabbed my waist and held me close kissing my neck till i moaned in pleasure ... suddenly he felt faint ... like he was drifting away ... i looked at him with frantic eyes before he whispered a solemn good bye his lips touched mine until he slowly drifted a way ...

i heard voices all around me ....

"shes not waking up sesshomaru said this damn sword would work i cut through the demons why isnt she waking up ..."

" i dont know inuyasha be pacient ... "

"why would she do that to herself ..."

"i dont know but ... it was scary, she killed her self "

"thank goodness shippo wasnt here to see it ..."

"wait i think shes waking up inuyasha .."

she opened her eyes only to find her self by a tree the light was supressed by the abundance of leafs that where curently hovering over here ... she looked to her side only to see 3 worried eyes staring back at here, inuyasha was holding tennsiga in his hand flash backs of shesshomaru ran through her head ... she held her chest in atempt to keep her heart from craking into peices ... inuyasha saw her and put a comferting hand on her shoulder ...  
"kagome" for the first time in her life she heard his voice become timid and unsure.

memorys flooded back to here and left a bad taste in her mouth ... she remembered cooking for inuyasha and shippo it had been a month since her mate had died , he new mate the where only mated for a week .... a week .... and then the final battle erupted , naraku almost killed her but he .... sesshomaru gave his life and recived the final blow he died afted riding the world of that vile creature ...

she could feel the familiar throb in her chest as the memories kept moving on the month had been tourtoure she was trying to move on but deppression had sunken in ... she couldnt take it any more after she finished dinner she ran into the forest and collapsed under the tree. the knife in her hand became more and more heavy in her hand but she was determined ... why did she desearve to live if her only reason for living was dead ... because of her the ussless good for nothing miko,

suddenly angry at inuyasha she brushed his hands off before standing.  
"what the hell did you do that for!" she felt here powers rising above her skin .  
"what are you talking about ... you killed your self what the hell is wrong with you !" inuyasha said his short temper flaring around him.  
"i hate you ... i had him in my arms i could feel him again but you , you took him away .... i was with him , with him" her eyes where distant and weary.  
"kagome you got to move on he, he is dead."  
she snapped at hearing this she forced her miko powers out untill he collapsed in pain.  
she stepped over him her eyes where far too gone in her rage.  
" dont say that!" she shreiked " he is alive he's here i know it ... he cant leave me he cant i wont i refuse to live with out him ... i know you hated him but he is my everything i .. cant breathe .... i cant breathe inuyasha !" she fell to he knees in pain cluching her chest to relive the pain.  
inuyasha eyes soften as he got up and held her in his arms he had never seen the girl in his arms so alone or broken.  
"inuyasha ... kill me ...." she looked at him with pleading eyes, pain was etched in her skin.  
"kill me inuyasha if you love me you will kill me ..." she said she gripped he chest harder her breatheing becomeing more and more shallow.  
"inuyasha you cant be serious ... come on bring here to the village she will be fine." sangos voice was full of denial the monk was holding here to him knowing that she wouldnt bare to see what will happen next.  
"do it inuyasha .... relive her pain, i think its the best thing you can do for her right now."  
inuyasha was torn.  
he didnt want her to live in pain but he didnt want to kill her ..  
"inuyasha ... take care of shippo ... you will be a good father to him .." she said here eyes where red with pain.  
he decided ...  
but before he told her he just had to ask ..  
"why ... why are you killing your self over him?"  
he eyes where wide almost as if she where saying isn't it obvious ... "inuyasha ... he loved me , i completes me ... he gave me a life full of joy ... never ending joy. i can not go back to life as i knew it , he is the only life i know inuyasha, i refuse to do this with out him."  
he kissed her slowly on the lips before, stepping back and pulling back his sword.  
"inuyasha ..." she was lost for words she never thought he still loved her but obvously she was wrong.  
"i loved you too ..." he said then he gave the final blow.

she felt like she was floating but this time she was happy the halls she saw before where now bright and clean she walked around the halls and up the stairs where sesshomaru was waiting ... with out a word she threw her self into his arms .  
"you foolish, foolish girl ..." he said a small smile gracing his lips  
"i love you ... " she said content in his arms she slowly felt the ache in her chest vanish all traces of the pain was gone.  
" i as well love you.." he said as he pulled her closer to him ...

she looked up at him knowing that this ... this exact moment was what she wanted ... hell and hevean be damned if they thought that she would live with out this man,  
"i can't belive i found you ..." she whispered in awe.  
with that note he slowly lifted her chin to hers in a soul searing kiss.  
he held her in place he kept her together he was the only peorson ... who could keep her from falling apart.  
yes she thought to her self this was an un likley love indeed.

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